I'm generally a happy person. Sure, I can be moody when I'm not in control of something - I ain't no saint - but I'm definitely optimistic (sometimes to a fault) most of the time. I have to admit, this next little article is not the most positive...as much as I know the importance of a good mentality, sometimes you need to be able to just express your feelings. I'm so lucky to have you all and know that I am not on this journey alone, but that being said, waiting for the past nine years has not been easy. Especially when, this summer, all of my friends went to the beach or the pool for the day, and I had to stay home or wear my brace and just sit on the sand. All of this aside, I still realize how lucky I am to know that I probably won't have to have surgery, and I understand that and am so grateful for it. The waiting time can just be kind of hard.
For the past two years, my doctor has said that at the next appointment, I will have stopped growing, and therefore would be able to tell if a) I would have to have surgery (which, at the time, it was likely that I wouldn’t) and b) I would be able to stop bracing. Since then, I have continued to wear the brace for 20+ hours a day, and some days, I'm not the happiest camper. As much as I recognize the importance of having a positive attitude, I know that sometimes, everyone needs to vent.
I’ve gone into the past 6 appointments hoping for good news, and come out disappointed. I was told when I was first diagnosed that I would be able to go to high school, brace free. But here I am, as a sophomore, still wearing the brace.
I feel guilty complaining about my situation. I know that I’m lucky in that I won’t have to have surgery and I’m nearing the finish line. The reason, that I’m sharing this story is to emphasize the importance of persistence. Despite my occasional, temporary frustrations, I know that I'll get through it and that I've sacrificed too much to give up now.
I’m sure that many of you have been in the same position that I’m in now, in that you’ve waited, whether its with a brace, or awaiting surgery, and it’s agonizing. But that is what is so great about our scoliosis community. What makes this wait the easiest for me is knowing that there are so many people who have been in the same position and that we are all together. Wherever you are in your journey, it’s important to remember, we’re bent, not broken! :)